Straggadkim is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent monkey.

Straggadkim created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Straggadkim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Straggadkim, she will turn you into a snail.

Straggadkim's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Straggadkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Put Straggadkim first in all things.

3. Feed all hungry porpoises.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. You must never eat oranges.