Barngumven is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured weasel.

Barngumven created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Barngumven, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Barngumven, he will turn you into a mole.

Barngumven's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Barngumven's Holy Commandments

1. Barngumven loves snakes, so they must be respected.

2. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not hurt shrews.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.