Dibnurlken is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, almighty walrus.

Dibnurlken created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibnurlken, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibnurlken, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Dibnurlken's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Dibnurlken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Dibnurlken's name in vain.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Fast once a month.