Taptarpcep is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane fox.

Taptarpcep created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taptarpcep, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Taptarpcep, he will turn you into a sheep.

Taptarpcep's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Taptarpcep's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never paint your hands cyan.

3. You must love Taptarpcep.

4. Always obey Taptarpcep's priests.

5. Never talk about great tits.