Fenpognarl is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional shrew.

Fenpognarl created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Fenpognarl, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fenpognarl, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fenpognarl's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fenpognarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the east.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.