Paddotcub is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, witty narwhal.

Paddotcub created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Paddotcub, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Paddotcub, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Paddotcub's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Paddotcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always obey Paddotcub's priests.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.