Ruttbemshav is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, almighty camel.

Ruttbemshav created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttbemshav, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ruttbemshav, he will manifest in front of you.

Ruttbemshav's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ruttbemshav's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ruttbemshav.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

5. Never paint your hands green.