Wonkamcuss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome shark.

Wonkamcuss created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonkamcuss, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wonkamcuss, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Wonkamcuss' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Wonkamcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Wonkamcuss loves foxes, so they must be respected.

2. Always look after injured bats.

3. You must love Wonkamcuss.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.