Konwigrulkem is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humane armadillo.

Konwigrulkem created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Konwigrulkem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Konwigrulkem, he will turn you into a snail.

Konwigrulkem's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Konwigrulkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.