Jatlengem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, awesome dolphin.

Jatlengem created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatlengem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jatlengem, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jatlengem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jatlengem's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jatlengem.

5. Worship no other gods but Jatlengem.