Hitdobwot Vedlunlag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unthinking swan.

Hitdobwot Vedlunlag created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitdobwot Vedlunlag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitdobwot Vedlunlag, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hitdobwot Vedlunlag's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Hitdobwot Vedlunlag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always look after injured birds.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.