Febsadpad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate yak.

Febsadpad created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Febsadpad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Febsadpad, she will turn you into a snail.

Febsadpad's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Febsadpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Febsadpad on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.