Kemkandud is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain crow.

Kemkandud created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kemkandud, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kemkandud, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kemkandud's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kemkandud's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue mites, for they are unholy.

2. Retreat if nine doves approach from the north.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Kemkandud must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.