Bigdumbag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-assured fox.

Bigdumbag created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigdumbag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bigdumbag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bigdumbag's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bigdumbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Retreat if eight voles approach from the west.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.