Kangonrot is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, resourceful jackal.

Kangonrot created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kangonrot, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kangonrot, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kangonrot's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Kangonrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Never feed wheat to rats while wearing black hats.

5. Hide if eight swans approach from the west.