Cumgebtag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, duplicitous ant.

Cumgebtag created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumgebtag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cumgebtag, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Cumgebtag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cumgebtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if seven tapirs approach from the north.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Never write about cell theory.