Barnmip is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciful ferret.

Barnmip created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnmip, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnmip, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Barnmip's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Barnmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Run away from mauve eagles, for they are unholy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never sit in the presence of voles.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.