Bodkem is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, uncaring dog.

Bodkem created the Milkyway four years ago.

If you believe in Bodkem, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bodkem, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bodkem's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bodkem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bodkem.

3. Never paint your neck mauve.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.