Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy scorpion.

Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about nematodes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Pitlabcutrapbifgetbom on top of all buildings.