Kabfodcid Funbopnak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, idiotic seal.

Kabfodcid Funbopnak created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Kabfodcid Funbopnak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kabfodcid Funbopnak, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kabfodcid Funbopnak's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Kabfodcid Funbopnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.