Mapvoghogzag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unfair armadillo.

Mapvoghogzag created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapvoghogzag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mapvoghogzag, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Mapvoghogzag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Mapvoghogzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Put Mapvoghogzag first in all things.

4. Erect seven copper sculptures of Mapvoghogzag on top of important buildings.

5. Never eat lentils.