Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic raven.

Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab, it will try to impress you with trees.

Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near eagles.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kabtiftargart Kamrowflabflab.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.