Quillvilhit is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unfair spider.

Quillvilhit created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillvilhit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quillvilhit, she will jump up and down on your head.

Quillvilhit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Quillvilhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.