Tan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, egotistical gnu.

Tan created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tan, she will be very sad.

Tan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Feed all hungry swans.