Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless deer.

Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep, she will think nothing of it.

Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Always obey Pitartlag Vongubbeg Spagnegbep's priests.