Gupgessarnpan is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring centaur.

Gupgessarnpan created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupgessarnpan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gupgessarnpan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Gupgessarnpan's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gupgessarnpan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five copper sculptures of Gupgessarnpan on top of important buildings.

2. Always help shrews.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gupgessarnpan on top of all buildings.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.