Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent bear.

Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab, she will turn you into a plant.

Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide if five doves approach from the north.

3. Do not take Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab's name in vain.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Narthivpin Japnandadnurlganmon Tanlatgudcimnilbab.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.