Loopzodnanyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient troll.

Loopzodnanyarp created the Sombrero Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Loopzodnanyarp, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Loopzodnanyarp, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Loopzodnanyarp's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Loopzodnanyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed onions to ducks while wearing orange hats.

5. Never mention horses.