Sinsatgil is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, confident cow.

Sinsatgil created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinsatgil, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sinsatgil, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sinsatgil's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sinsatgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never sit near goats.