Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic walrus.

Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham, it will turn you into a puffin.

Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Motlarnfum Dussontbonk Logdumham.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Retreat if four dogs approach from the south.