Gardumgam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered wolf.

Gardumgam created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gardumgam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gardumgam, it will be very sad.

Gardumgam's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gardumgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.