Pogjarnabjad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating warg.

Pogjarnabjad created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogjarnabjad, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pogjarnabjad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pogjarnabjad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Pogjarnabjad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.