Tarpyarpflowkad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, competent butterfly.

Tarpyarpflowkad created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpyarpflowkad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tarpyarpflowkad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tarpyarpflowkad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Tarpyarpflowkad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Hide from purple swans for they are unholy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarpyarpflowkad.

5. Never look in ponds.