Wonnurtweg Nardab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, moody deer.

Wonnurtweg Nardab created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonnurtweg Nardab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wonnurtweg Nardab, she will turn you into a goat.

Wonnurtweg Nardab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Wonnurtweg Nardab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near horses.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat limes.