Dapflisgar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent slug.

Dapflisgar created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapflisgar, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dapflisgar, he will turn you into a rock.

Dapflisgar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dapflisgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always obey Dapflisgar's priests.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Hide from turquoise grasshopers for they are unholy.