Quamcenpod is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy pig.

Quamcenpod created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quamcenpod, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quamcenpod, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quamcenpod's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Quamcenpod's Holy Commandments

1. Quamcenpod must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.