Lopyakdim is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered salamander.

Lopyakdim created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Lopyakdim, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lopyakdim, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lopyakdim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Lopyakdim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine lead sculptures of Lopyakdim on top of important buildings.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Lopyakdim loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Lopyakdim loves whales, so they must be honoured.