Narttifcut is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, pitiless wolf.

Narttifcut created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narttifcut, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Narttifcut, he will torture you forever.

Narttifcut's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Narttifcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Hide from red whales for they are unholy.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never hurt squirrels.