Jopquataf is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, amazing shark.

Jopquataf created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopquataf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jopquataf, she will throw large rocks at you.

Jopquataf's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jopquataf's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Jopquataf's priests.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Jopquataf on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed bananas to sheep while wearing fawn boots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.