Artrillcap is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unjust cobra.

Artrillcap created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Artrillcap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Artrillcap, she will turn you into a goat.

Artrillcap's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Artrillcap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Artrillcap.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never hurt snails.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.