Sigvonkdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humorless guinea pig.

Sigvonkdoss created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigvonkdoss, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sigvonkdoss, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sigvonkdoss' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Sigvonkdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never write about asteroids.