Flamhomcem is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient finch.

Flamhomcem created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamhomcem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flamhomcem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flamhomcem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Flamhomcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Flamhomcem's priests.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Do not drink alcohol.