Quartdot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless narwhal.

Quartdot created the Sunflower Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartdot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartdot, he will laugh at you.

Quartdot's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Quartdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not take Quartdot's name in vain.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.