Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing otter.

Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonkhimbatwap Wonzighud.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never look in ponds.