Tikflisvil is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless grasshopper.

Tikflisvil created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Tikflisvil, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tikflisvil, it will destroy your home solar system.

Tikflisvil's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tikflisvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never laugh near frogs.