Fotnurlflab is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, wise dingo.

Fotnurlflab created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotnurlflab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotnurlflab, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fotnurlflab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fotnurlflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Fotnurlflab loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about sharks.