Vabpassomkengov is a god.

He takes the form of a small, kind hamster.

Vabpassomkengov created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabpassomkengov, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabpassomkengov, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vabpassomkengov's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vabpassomkengov's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Vabpassomkengov loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not kill nematodes.