Quagcudnell is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing crow.

Quagcudnell created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quagcudnell, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagcudnell, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quagcudnell's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Quagcudnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quagcudnell.

5. Never jump near aardvarks.