Sagmisxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful cat.

Sagmisxuck created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sagmisxuck, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sagmisxuck, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sagmisxuck's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Sagmisxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Sagmisxuck on top of all buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Always obey Sagmisxuck's priests.

5. Hide from orange ducks for they are unholy.