Basslistgumnart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong wyvern.

Basslistgumnart created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basslistgumnart, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Basslistgumnart, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Basslistgumnart's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Basslistgumnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.